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The Mayo Story

Montgomery, age 12

Once upon a time there was a very big huge mayo jar. In fact, it was Helman's mayo. There was a girl named Short One. She and her family prayed to the jar every single night. HA! You thought I was going to say DAY, didn't you, well I said night so there! Until late one night, there was a donkey that came into town. It was selling Stop-and-Shop brand mayo! The horror! In the day, while everyone was asleep, the donkey went and stole the Helman's jar and replaced it with a Stop-and-Shop jar! When everyone awoke, the chief, whose name was Seven-Eleven, opened the jar and stuck his finger in, and then stuck it in his mouth. "Hmmm. This tastes NOTHING like Helman's. Where's that damn donkey?" shouted the chief.

Everybody shrugged.